Invitations to Play
Shortly after Lane was born, I started setting up Invitations to Play for our two toddlers, then newly 2 and 4, almost every morning on our playroom porch. As I continued doing it evening after evening, often beyond weary at that time of day especially from the exhaustion of that season with a newborn and two toddlers, my husband would sometimes say, “You don’t have to do this every night, you know. You can just go sit down!” But the value was two-fold — First, it was only about 20 minutes of prep work that yielded a pretty great reward. Rather than being immediately descended upon when the kids’ wake clock turned green, we were afforded some calm and peace as we woke up to kids contentedly playing on the porch for a bit, slurping down a set out applesauce pouch. Second, during a season when my daily life was pretty routine, bordering on monotonous or tedious, this nightly ritual became a creative outlet. It became fun! It also became a helpful and special way for me to forge a new bond with the big kids, who sometimes were shafted for the baby during the day. The kids started calling the things I set out “surprises,” and became something they looked forward to in the morning.
I have alluded before to how our family went through some pretty big (for us) transitions in our rhythms last year, like (mostly) cutting screen time out of the kids’ routines and doing Whole30 (almost) as a family. These morning “surprises” enabled us to cut a TV show out of the kids’ morning routine. Instead of waking up to a show (or two …) and then pitching huge fits when we turned the TV off, the kids formed a new habit of playing for a bit every morning. Now, I am not bashing screen time (especially during the current state of worldwide isolation!). However, if you a seeking ideas to train your child to play more independently or are trying to add diversity to your at-home routine, then this could be worth a try! I will be honest, it was rough going at first. Tantrums about wanting a show first thing in the morning = zero fun. But we persevered, and soon a switch flipped and the kids looked forward to surprises. Thea even set up some for Graham every now and then, and often had suggestions for what toys she wanted me to set out. In short, this became a game changer for our family, and eased our transition from a family of 4 to 5. Thank you, Jesus!
Our playroom has roughly 3 zones: craft/learning/sensory tables (with room for both kids), reading nook, and imaginative play. Now this isn’t some formula I read about or anything. This is how their space organically happened, as I observed how they played and what I felt worked best for them. I still rotate their playroom semi-seasonally, which is also a great time to set aside things no longer needed or used that can be donated or passed on to someone else. So when I set out to do Invitations to Play every morning, I began by setting out something in each zone. I would put out a sensory or educational activity for each on their tables, a few books (sometimes laid open) in their reading nook, and a shared floor activity. The floor activity usually took the most time, because it involved setting up the dollhouse or trains or cars and race track, etc. I know this may sound daunting or even ridiculous, but I swear after doing it for awhile it became routine and fairly quick (usually no more than 20 minutes). I finished by placing out a simple morning snack (bar, applesauce pouch, bowl of nuts and dried fruit, etc) and water bottles.
Some Tips:
Start small with one activity per child or a larger shared activity (that won’t cause fights).
If you notice a certain activity was a hit, write it down! Use it again next week! Eventually you will have some favorites that can be used over and over, saving you tons of time and brain power.
This doesn’t have to be your morning routine. You may have one child who naps in the afternoon and one child who doesn’t. You can use Invitations to Play to encourage a period of independent play (we call this Quiet Time in our house), so that you can get a break, too!
Sometimes we will leave out a favorite activity for a few days in a row.
Here are some ideas with pictures:
If you have a play/doll house of some kind, this could easily be the center of many shared floor invitations. We have a tree house and doll house that the kids play with daily, incorporating all kinds of other “characters” into their imaginative worlds, including Maileg mice, plastic animal and dinosaurs, wooden peg people, small dolls & figurines, etc.
If you don’t have a doll house, you could build one! Legos, Magnatiles, even wooden blocks could all easily transform into a “dwelling” that could provide extended, various play (if it doesn’t get knocked down!). We also have this small bookshelf in Lane’s area that is an inexpensive, open-ended doll house.
Another main attraction could be a sensory activity. Our favorites are rainbow rice (so pretty & fun but more clean-up), kinetic sand (my favorite because there is virtually no clean-up!), and water beads. Our kinetic sand lives in one of the bins under our IKEA FLISAT TABLE so the kids can get it out on their own, too.
Sidebar: I cannot recommend our IKEA play tables enough (see link above). We had just one for a long time, which was awesome, but we used them SO much for sensory activities that we eventually got another one. They are seriously a game changer with how our kids independently play. I will often have one side closed as a surface and one side open with something interesting to play with.
We have other favorite outside sensory activities, but these listed above are safe and clean enough to do inside pretty unsupervised (although I would put a mat underneath rainbow rice play!).
We love setting up roadways, leaving out puzzles, special books, even surprise forts! The possibilities are really endless. I would start by taking note of your kids’ favorite activities, or the things they already do well by themselves for the longest amount of time. If your kid is really into reading or looking at books, then it could be fun to put out things inspired by a book. I may put out a favorite picture book about animals and set up any corresponding toy animals we have, so that the story can come to life through play! Or you may have an architect or engineer who loves to build. Maybe three different building materials set out at once would inspire a new, larger creation made out of many materials. If you have an artist, then colorful papers, stickers, and a few different drawing mediums could be inspiring. Sometimes I will even let a new season inspire an elaborate invitation, like play butterflies, a colorful rainbow, a toy pool with mice in their swimsuits, and books about summer. Sometimes it is fun to be a kid again and let your own imagination run wild!
